Memories
by yeknodelttil
Summary: When John is left in a coma certain memories return to haunt him. Especially ‘the black mark in Afghanistan’. UPDATED added Chapter 8!
1. How It All Began

**Memories**

Title: Memories

Author: yeknodelttil

Series/Movie: STARGATE ATLANTIS

Category: Romance/Drama

Rating: PG - 13

Pairings/Characters: Sheyla, McWeir, Beckett, Caldwell

Spoilers: The Rising

Warning: This is pretty bad writing! I thought I'd warn you!

Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't own them, Pretty please don't sue!

Author's note: As I wrote this ficcie sorry if it isn't well written. I swear I didn't know song fics were banned.

Summary: When John is left in a coma certain memories return to haunt him. Especially 'the black mark in Afghanistan'.

Chapter One: How It All Began 

"Receiving GDO code! Its SGA-1 they're coming in hot." Came the alarms.

"Open the gate!" Dr. Elizabeth Weir shouted. The force field around the gate dropped, the team stepped through firing at the gate. Something didn't quite seem right to Weir. "What happened?" The teamed turned round to face her. John swayed a little.

"Colonel Sheppard?" Teyla asked. John tried to focus on her, unsuccessfully.

"I'm fine I just feel a little…" Suddenly John fainted.

"McKay to Beckett we need a medical team." They all crowded around John. Teyla rested her hand on his forehead.

"He is burning up. John? Can you hear me John?" Soon Beckett arrived and took John down to the labs.

Before leaving he whispered in Teyla's ear: "Don't worry lass I'll look after him."

---

"What happened?" Weir asked when they wear all seated round the conference table.

"It was a routine mission and the Wraith showed up end of story, end of tale."

"Rodney!" Liz exclaimed exasperated.

"Colonel Sheppard did not come into contact with anyone or anything. We stayed close together constantly. If he were to be infected we would be as well."

"Thank you Teyla. Have you anything to add Rodney?" McKay shook his head.

"I don't understand what could've affected John. I mean like Teyla said we should be just like him – ill…"

"_Beckett to Weir."_

"Go ahead." Weir looked down to her lap.

"_I need you all to report to the infirmary immediately. Its about Colonel Sheppard."_

"We'll be down their momentarily Weir out." Weir looked across the table. "It looks like we're about to find out." They all stood and prepared to make their way to the infirmary.

---

"Thank you for coming." Carson told them when they arrived on the scene.

"What is wrong?" Carson shuffled nervously. "Dr. Beckett?"

"The Colonel's stable but he's lapsed into a coma. I'm afraid I can't do anything for him."

"Carson, what caused his coma?"

"From what I can tell, he brushed up against a plant."

"We all brushed up against plants what's your point?" Rodney was getting agitated at a glare from both Teyla and Weir he bit his tongue.

"This plant cut both his trouser and skin."

"How do you know this was the cause?" Weir asked him.

"Because both of you are fine. Besides this is the only external injury we can find."

"Is there no way to help him?" Teyla looked across towards the bed John was in. He looked so peaceful but the machines made him look weak.

"I'm afraid if he's to wake he has to do it on his own."

TBC


	2. Something's Amiss

Chapter Two: Something's Amiss 

John woke slowly to the beeps and whirs of machines near him.

'Home.' He thought to himself. Opening his eyes he found himself looking up at a bunk. 'What the?' A hand suddenly shook him.

"Come on Shep! We're gonna be late for our briefing. You can catch up on your beauty sleep later, or will you be with Tey?" John rubbed his eyes.

"What briefing?" John sat and looked up into the face of his 'friend'.

"What world are you in? The briefing about the new Choppers being built especially for the air force."

"New Choppers?" John yawned.

"Are you deliberately being dumb or is it something new today? The prototype we have to test it. The quicker the briefing is over with Liz won't have my guts for garters if I'm late." The man stepped back into the light. John gasped. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine Rodney. I just never pegged you for someone who likes choppers."

"What are you talking about? I'm mad about choppers, who wouldn't want to pilot one?"

"You're a scientist not a pilot."

"Have you hit your head? I've never been a scientist! Next you're gonna say I'm not married! I'll see you in a bit Captain." John looked round the room after McKay left.

'Captain?' Curious John looked down at his dog tags. He was a bit surprised at what he saw. CAPTAIN JOHN SHEPPARD. John washed up quickly he needed some answers. He hadn't been a Captain for years. He was promoted to Major just before Afghanistan. Grabbing what he assumed to be his uniform he ran to the briefing about the prototypes.

---

After an hour of total boredom – he never really listened to briefings even back then – he was given a few days down time so he went into Colorado Springs for a while.

He sat down in the park and thought about things. Last night he was Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, promoted just after the Siege on Atlantis by the Wraith.

'It wasn't a dream!' He told himself. Something was wrong. He remembered coming back through the gate then collapsing… 'That must be it I'm unconscious!' His thoughts were quickly disrupted when someone wrapped their arms round his neck from behind.

"Did you forget about our date?" John knew that voice. He turned round.

"No of course not I lost track of time," He mumbled

"Good. I'd hate to think you didn't want to see me." She sat down next to him.

"I would never avoid seeing you Teyla." She smiled at his response.

"Are you okay I talked to Rodney and he said you've been a little distant today. He even hinted at you didn't believe he was married!" John looked her in the eyes. "You can tell me, I love you remember?"

"I love you too. I've just been thinking something made me think." He answered semi-honestly.

"As long as you're okay." Her brown eyes shone with concern.

"I'm fine." Teyla gently kissed him. He kissed her back deepening their kiss. Something inside him screamed that this was wrong, that it wasn't Teyla. He chose to ignore it. "You can make a man forget a lot of things Teyla."

"Good." They kissed again. People walked past muttering about them, 'They should get a room/They're old enough to know better/Disrespecting the USAF' Teyla pulled back.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else? We're getting a bit of attention." He asked a little breathless. She giggled.

"I thought you'd never ask." Teyla started to drag him towards her car.

"Where are we going?"

"My apartment, I hope you remember how to drive?" He nodded. "Good you're driving."

TBC

_Let me know if you want more!_


	3. An Idea

Chapter Three: An Idea 

"How's John doing?" Elizabeth Weir asked as she walked into the infirmary.

"He's not good. His vitals indicate he's dreaming but show no sign of awareness or if he's trying to wake up." Weir sat down and sighed. Looking across she saw Teyla at his bedside. Carson turned and saw what Liz who Liz was watching. "The lass has been there since he was brought in."

"Is there any way we can wake him up? Or help him in any way?"

"I'm afraid not. Rodney's working on a Tok'ra device the Daedalus brought us. Hopefully it should give a clearer view of what's going on in his mind."

"I though those devices were experimental at best?"

"They are, but there the best we have at the moment." Behind them Dr. Radek Zelenka looked up from a consol.

"What about Teyla? She is telepathic after all. Maybe she can find out what's wrong." Zelenka focussed back on what he was upgrading.

"I thought she could only read the thoughts of Wraith?" Weir turned back to Carson. Confusion clearly on her face.

"Ah yes, but Teyla isn't Wraith she has the DNA, as she is human it might work differently."

"I'll need to monitor her vitals throughout the process, if she agrees that is."

"Could it work?" Zelenka shrugged his shoulders.

"Possibly. We still might need the Tok'ra device though."

"I'll get Rodney to bring it down here. I thought you were working on it with him?"

"He's way smarter than us apparently, so therefore doesn't need any help." Weir just shook her head at Zelenka's comment.

"Anything else?" Carson and Zelenka looked at each other then back at Weir.

"Who's going to ask Teyla?" They remembered when they were confronted with Wraith Teyla. They had promised never to put her through that again.

"Well it was your idea." Weir tried.

"You are the leader though." They both decided to round on Carson. But before they could open their mouths to speak:

"I'm a doctor not a bloody negotiator." Carson sighed. "How are we going to decide?"

"Rock Paper Scissors?" Weir just groaned.

---

"Teyla? Teyla wake up." Teyla's head shot up, from its resting position on her arms.

"Dr Weir I apologise…."

"Don't worry your team is on standby until John is well. I came to ask you something."

"Anything." Weir pulled a chair up next to Teyla and John.

"Is it possible for you to connect with John through telepathy."

"I am unsure." Teyla's brow furrowed in thought, she looked up at Weir. "I could try."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Liz smiled warmly. "We need to check he's doing okay and as he's showing no sign of recovery…" She trailed off.

"When would you prefer I try?" Teyla started to stand, brushing herself off.

"As soon as you are ready. Carson wants to hook you up to monitors to check you'll be okay." Liz nodded over to Carson who was standing across from them.

"I'll be ready momentarily." Weir pulled the chair back and tried to move the bed next to them closer for Teyla to lie on. Zelenka and Carson pulled some monitors over to where she lay. "As I will be free to enter his mind, I should be allowed to leave relatively easily."

"Lass, do you want Doctor Heightmyer here?"

"NO! I mean I believe it would be in our best interests not to have her here. She asks me many personal questions and I may not be aware of what I say."

"Teyla, you don't like her do you?" Teyla blushed.

"To tell the truth; no." Weir grinned, as did Carson.

"Don't worry she annoys us to…"

"More than Doctor McKay?" Teyla asked innocently. Zelenka snorted.

"Rodney doesn't annoy me at all I think he's…" Liz stopped before she went to far. "I don't like her either."

"If your ready lass, we don't want Doctor Weir to blush too much. I'm going to give you a mild sedative to make it easier for you to connect." Teyla nodded as Carson applied the sedative. "Just relax and try to connect with Colonel Sheppard."

Teyla closed her eyes and focussed on John. Slowly all awareness of around faded away as she entered his mind.

TBC


	4. Thoughts

Chapter Four: Thoughts 

_A short chappie!_

John slowly woke with Tey lying in his arms. This dream wasn't turning out to be that bad really, but it wasn't how he remembered it. During the prototype test and Afghanistan he didn't have a girlfriend, not mentioning that he obviously didn't met Rodney till the expedition.

Slowly he climbed out of her grasp, and walked toward the bathroom; stepping over their discarded clothes. Looking in the mirror he realised he hadn't changed at all, his hair was still the same and he hadn't seemed to have gotten a few years younger. He felt a draft and realised he was only in his boxers.

"John are you alright?" A sleepy Tey walked in to the bathroom with his shirt on.

"Didn't the Daedalus bring that on its last visit?" Tey looked down at the grey t-shirt.

"Daedalus? John are you okay?" Tey walked up to him and touched his cheek gently.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just been…a rough couple of days." He tried to reassure her. She lightly kissed him.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to be sick when my parents arrive tomorrow." She started to pull him back to the bed.

'Parents!' John was sure Teyla didn't have any parents. His thoughts were broken when he found himself on the bed with Tey kissing him desperately.

"You know…I've…missed you…too…but it's…only been…a few…ho…urs!" He managed to gasp out during kisses.

"We've got a lot of catching up to do though." John just nodded. He dreamed about this happening but he wouldn't dare try and take it further with the real Teyla. She'd deck him with or without any tonfas.

"I guess…" He turned over so she was underneath him pinning her to the bed. He teased her leaning in for a kiss then pulling back after a brief contact. Tey couldn't reach up and kiss him. Eventually he decided to put her out of her misery and kissed her.

"COLONEL SHEPPARD!"

TBC


	5. Um, I Can Explain

Chapter Five: Um, I can explain… 

John's head shot up. He knew that voice very, very, very well. He groaned and rested his head on Tey's. Suddenly he pulled his head back realizing what he was doing could be taken as offensive. Slowly he turned round to see who the person was. John hoped to god that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him, that the person wasn't…a very pissed off Teyla Emmagen.

"Colonel Sheppard you should be fighting your fever. Not day dreaming about your personal life." She scolded him.

"Are you really Teyla?" She raised her eyebrows, bit her lip and gave him the coldest stare he could and would ever receive. "I'll take that as a yes. Oh boy am I in trouble."

"If I were in a coma I would prefer to try and wake up instead of having…personal relations with someone."

"That someone has a name you know!" The someone in question bent her head round John's body to look at who he was talking to. John would've laughed at the look on Teyla's face if she weren't so pissed off with him.

"Um…Tey met Teyla, Teyla this is Tey." Teyla was speechless; her mouth went up and down like a goldfish. "I don't suppose you'd want to talk about this?" He sheepishly asked her.

The whole scene around them suddenly froze. Tey didn't move, the curtains didn't flutter in the night wind, the street was silent but Teyla was still glaring at him. In one swift movement Teyla had grabbed John by the scruff of his neck and thrown him down on the sofa.

"That would be a wise idea. Start." John nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"I have a good explanation for not waking up…" She looked at him disbelievingly. "No I don't."

"John, would you like to explain why I am in that bed," She pointed, "Over there? And why you were kissing her/me?" She spat venom at him.

"Hey I didn't ask you to interrupt by coma dreams. Am I really in a coma? Okay I don't know why you're here or why Rodney and Liz are married but I think I've got to sort out some issues." John looked down at the floor, seeing how interesting it had suddenly got.

"What issues?"

"Afghanistan." He muttered.

"What, may I ask, has that got to do with kissing me?" Her voice had softened.

"I don't know…" He lied.

"Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard if you don't tell me what is going on this instant I will tell Dr. Weir exactly what is going on in your mind!" Teyla ordered.

"Wait a sec. What the hell are you doing in my mind?"

"Dr Beckett was worried that you weren't going to wake up…"

"So they sent you to see what was going on." She nodded her head. "Heightmyer isn't there is she?" John suddenly looked worried.

"No." Teyla watched relief was over him and he relaxed visibly.

"Answer my question…"

"I'm in charge here. It's my mind!" He yelled.

"Exactly! Why were you kissing me?" Teyla started to shout as well.

"None of your damn business!"

"IT IS MY BUSINESS THAT…" She pointed, "IS ME!"

"SO?" Their faces were inches away from

"I AM WAITING! WHY?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" John suddenly leaned forward and captured her lips in a breath-taking kiss. Teyla responded to his kiss allowing him to deepen it. Teyla suddenly disappeared leaving John to fall forward without any chance to grab something. His reply was a muffled: "Thamk mou!"

---

Teyla suddenly shot up in her hospital bed. Still looking pissed off.

"I trust it didn't go well?" Carson cautiously ventured. He remembered the last time he'd encountered an angry Teyla he wound up with a long-term headache.

"That, that man…" Teyla was at a loss for words. "John Sheppard is an adrogās nothus." With that she stormed out of the infirmary.

"I take it didn't go well." Zelenka stated.

"You have no idea. What did she say?" Carson asked looking at Weir.

"Let me put it this way she said he was arrogant and that wasn't the nicest part."

"Do you think she'll try again?" Carson asked. Liz gave a knowing smile.

"She'll be back, I'm sure of it."

TBC

_I can't write long chappies so many ideas pop up!_


	6. If At First You Don’t Succeed Try, Try,

Chapter Six: If At First You Don't Succeed Try, Try, Try, Try Again 

After three hours of considerable pouting Teyla Emmagen stalked back into the infirmary.

"Ah Teyla, I didn't think you be back for a wee while lass." Zelenka raised an eyebrow from where he was working. "Drs Weir and McKay please report to the infirmary." Beckett turned to address Teyla. "Are you ready to try again?"

"We have a matter to settle." Teyla gritted her teeth.

"Teyla!"

"Dr Weir," She bowed her head slightly, "Dr McKay." Rodney as always clutched a chocolate bar in his hand.

"Teyla what happened last time when you connected with John? You were ready to kill someone."

"It was personal. And I will eradicate Colonel Sheppard if he doesn't explain himself." Weir took Teyla aside.

"Did you happen to find out why he won't wake up?"

"He believes he has issues. He believes it is centred around Afghanistan?" Teyla asked her statement more like a question.

"You know what happened don't you?" Teyla nodded. "Help him work through his issues despite wanting to commit first degree homicide." Teyla looked a little confused. "Without killing him."

"I will do my best."

"Stay under as long as you feel it necessary to help him." Teyla took up her position on the bed and slowly closed her eyes.

----

"If you're waiting for me to fly the prototype you're too late." Teyla whirled round and faced John.

"Prototype?" She looked confused.

"The Chopper." John pointed to the 'new' Air Force Helicopter. Which looked suspiciously like a Puddle Jumper. Rodney walked past them.

"How was the test?"

"She handles pretty well, Rodney. Maybe a little heavy though." Rodney slapped him on the back and walked off.

"See ya later!" He called over his shoulder. Teyla looked at John carefully. To her he was dressed strangely. He wore a strange suit with a mask hanging down. On his head he wore a helmet with a mike.

"Look Teyla I'm sorry about earlier…"

"What goes on in your mind is your own business." Teyla submitted quietly.

"Thank you! I'm glad to see you admitted I was right." John smiled smugly while Teyla's eyebrows shot up.

"I did no such thing!"

"It was hard for you I admit. But the truth shone through."

"You are a horrible…."

"Ah. Wait for it." John looked at his watch. "In five…four…three...two…one…" A man poked his head around an office door.

"Major Sheppard, a word."

"Here goes."

"Here goes what?"

"My transfer to Afghanistan. See you later." Before he turned to go he whispered in Teyla's ear: "I was promoted this morning." He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek, leaving her standing there shocked.

---

Five to ten minutes later John exited his CO's office. Teyla was still standing there.

"I ship out tomorrow." He grabbed her hand and started to drag her towards his quarters. It was a short walk to his quarters.

"We really need to talk John."

"I know and that's why we're going to my quarters." As soon as John opened the door Teyla found herself pushed into the room as he locked the door. "I'm not supposed to have women in my quarters." He explained. He motioned for Teyla to sit on the bed; sitting next to her he started to explain. "Look I just want to say I never meant for you to ever see what was going on in my mind especially when it involved you."

"John…" He gently rested a finger upon her lips.

"Let me finish. The truth is I do love you, but as you're part of my team I can't let it become reality. In my mind I can dream of 'what ifs'. Where I come form being in a relationship and being on the same team or chain of command isn't allowed…" John wasn't allowed to finish as Teyla started to kiss him. Nervously she wrapped her arms around his neck. John pulled back.

"Have you not heard of my customs?" John shook his head. "In my people we are allowed to be with who ever we want. As a leader no one on Atlantis would be allowed to question my judgement on who I picked as my chosen. I could choose you and no one could prevent it or punish us. I was speaking to Doctor Weir over my status among your people and she has agreed to respect me as leader of my people. Similar to your Diplomatic Immunity." John rested his forehead on hers.

"Really?"

"Yes. Will you wake up now?"

"I think the dream still has to play out." Teyla nodded as the scenery round them suddenly changed.


	7. Clues

Authors Note: I have decided to get around and (try to) finish this fic – basically it has been bugging me. The actual end is backed up on floppy disk but my comp doesn't have a floppy drive unlike my old one (May it rest in peace). I hope this clears up some loose ends.

Chapter Seven: Clues 

Looking around Teyla saw herself sitting in an actual helicopter. She'd heard John describe them but never actually understood what he meant until now. A light was flashing on the…she remembered John called it a display.

"Major Sheppard I order you to turn round and head back to the base." She instantly recognised that voice as Colonel Caldwell's.

"With all due respect sir, there are two men behind enemy lines." John was growing impatient at the voice.

"I don't want there to be three."

"We don't leave people in the hands of the enemy." John always used that line.

"We will return for them later. Get your ass back here to base, that's an order Major."

"Negative sir." John switched off the radio. He looked across at Teyla. "What?"

"Nothing." She replied. "Is this Afgania?"

"Afghanistan." He corrected her. "Just think you can see how I got my black mark." John sounded bitter. John suddenly turned the helicopter right and made for the ground. "Open that door." Teyla moved to open the door. She was surprised at how easy it was to open.

"Come on!" She called to two men running towards them. As they drew closer Teyla looked at their faces she instantly recognised them: Colonel Sumner and Peter Grodin. Suddenly it all clicked into place. John blamed himself for everything that had happened in her galaxy, tracing it back a few years to his indiscretion.

As soon as the men were on board, John took off, he risked a glance at Teyla and instantly realised she knew the truth. Teyla closed her eyes and woke back up in the infirmary under the watchful gaze of Dr Weir, Rodney and Carson.

TBC


	8. So

**A/N: A short chapter to move the story on.**   
Chapter Eight: So… 

Teyla looked up at Weir.

"So…" She asked expectedly.

"He feels guilty."

"Guilty over what?"

"He believes that his actions in Afghanistan caused the situation this expedition finds itself in."

"How? I don't understand."

"He believes that because he was reposted after Afghanistan, it is his notion that if he never was reposted he would not have been chosen for this expedition and therefore never woken the wraith."

"Teyla you said yourself the Wraith were going to wake up. We've told him that countless times."

"It does not matter what we tell him it is what he believes." Weir pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can try to convince him otherwise…" Teyla propositioned.

"If it's the only way to get our John back…No wonder he said he needed to see this through." Weir just sighed.

"Permission granted. Bring our John back." Teyla slightly bowed her head and lay back down upon the bed. Closing her eyes she felt a bit disoriented as she slipped into Sheppard's mind.

The last thing she heard was Rodney whispering: "Bring him home safely!"

TBC


End file.
